Get out of my way fool, I'm enlightened

Hitch a ride to freedom with the NY Times best seller "get out of my way fool, I'm enlightened". I. B. Wisdom's new book shows you how to "jump to the front of the line through the power of radiant light". With verbal aplomb not seen since Jesus, Wisdom takes us on an exhilarating ride of conversational repartee and Jedi like skill that leaves slack jawed yokels standing back in awe as he takes over whatever situation he's in. Voted in High School as the least likely to have a third eye, Wisdom shatters the "meek shall inherit the earth" myth with balls to the wall spiritual muscle flexing which leaves Arnold Schwarzenegger. claiming "I'm a girly man". "When I realized I could knock people over with my halo, I immediately surrendered my power over to the highest good and this book was born.", so states Wisdom in the intro. Regardless of your spiritual inclination, Get out of my way fool, I'm enlightened is destined to become a new thought classic.
~phoenix ashvaganda papa ya rama

Popular elves uncommonly slain

Popular commercial icons, the Kebbler Elves were found dead today in what appears to be a gangland style massacre. Company employees first on the scene described it as chocolate covered blood bath. The murders are though to have been carried out by a renegade band of "real" elves unhappy with the popularity of the obvious impostors. A note left at the scene said not only have they perpetrated an ogre size hoax on the world but have been responsible for addicting a whole generation of children to white flour and sugar, an unconscionable act for any elf, real or otherwise. The company issued a statement expressing their grief to the families of the slain bakers and said in no way will this stop the mega profitable health destroying junk food behemoth of Kebbler Brands.

Gene pool lotto winners now on hit list

The end of the American halcyon days are on the horizon. Gene pool lotto winners are now on the worlds hit list. Rich and upper middle class white kids born into a European genetically controlled world are on the short list for underclass anger. Many are fine people even if they are often living in denial about the effects of their status quo life on the rest of the world. Beauty, privilege and healthy dose of entitlement are being chipped away by bearded religious desert fanatics who utter such phrases as: “We love death. The US loves life. That is the difference between us two.” How can they sit there in their pleasurable stupor licking their Tastee Freez while innocent children's body chunks are flying about like a Quentin Tarantino cinematic moment. I too am on this list by virtue of my hazel eyes and access to cheap oil prices. The idiots of mass media pumping up the heat feeding MASSIVE lies to the unsuspecting monkey mind. I weep and gnash my teeth and pray to play the victim of this mindf*&k propaganda. Perhaps with grace our privilege will flower in awakening and somehow at the 11th hour we'll pull our head out of our nether regions to live the prayer for the planet outlined by my friends following poem.

Born out of a universal love, a time will come when the future is
bright
When relaxing is a virtue, health is a prevalent given, and people will

laugh for a living
The Spirit will be honored above all else and your neighbors will be
your friends
Holding someone will be joyful and pain will cease to exist
This is my prayer for our world
Be hopeful young children, we who love you are here; and people still
care
All is not lost in this world as a tree is being planted every day, and

for each tree a gardner is born
These gardens will flower into a oneness of earth and time, yet space
will be no more
All that is wanted for will be had and peace will abound
This is my prayer for our world

Love,
Lisa S.

Teeth, you got to love them

The thought hit me today about which tooth I'd first lose to old age. Being 46 and not having lost any teeth, wisdom teeth not withstanding I've decided number 16 (standard tooth numbering) or the upper left side third molar. Having recently replaced a large 20 year old amalgam filling with a casting, the dentist didn't get the gap right so now food gets caught in between which will hasten it's demise. I admit to taking my teeth for granted in the past but this new gap is a constant reminder to floss. I can now never totally forget about my teeth. a little portion of my brain is now cordoned off to remember this gap and the possible food stuck there. It reminds me to floss it out and that's it's function. one less slice of brain power to solve the worlds ills or even be nice to someone. Anyway this all reminds me of a poem I wrote once...

from across the channel she came from
with teeth as craggy as they come
but oh to me such sweet delight
as I would kiss her every night
being french, I could eat it all
including that within her maw
my tongue would probe each crack and crevice
looking for any little piece of lettuce
alas as all good things must come to an end
poor hygiene, her teeth, did in
so on we moved to tropic climes
with molds and fungus and a little slime
which grew abundantly between her toes
and of course I switched to sucking those...