Sunday, October 28, 2007
Popular elves uncommonly slain
Popular commercial icons, the Kebbler Elves were found dead today in what appears to be a gangland style massacre. Company employees first on the scene described it as chocolate covered blood bath. The murders are though to have been carried out by a renegade band of "real" elves unhappy with the popularity of the obvious impostors. A note left at the scene said not only have they perpetrated an ogre size hoax on the world but have been responsible for addicting a whole generation of children to white flour and sugar, an unconscionable act for any elf, real or otherwise. The company issued a statement expressing their grief to the families of the slain bakers and said in no way will this stop the mega profitable health destroying junk food behemoth of Kebbler Brands.
Labels:
humor
Gene pool lotto winners now on hit list
The end of the American halcyon days are on the horizon. Gene pool lotto winners are now on the worlds hit list. Rich and upper middle class white kids born into a European genetically controlled world are on the short list for underclass anger. Many are fine people even if they are often living in denial about the effects of their status quo life on the rest of the world. Beauty, privilege and healthy dose of entitlement are being chipped away by bearded religious desert fanatics who utter such phrases as: “We love death. The US loves life. That is the difference between us two.” How can they sit there in their pleasurable stupor licking their Tastee Freez while innocent children's body chunks are flying about like a Quentin Tarantino cinematic moment. I too am on this list by virtue of my hazel eyes and access to cheap oil prices. The idiots of mass media pumping up the heat feeding MASSIVE lies to the unsuspecting monkey mind. I weep and gnash my teeth and pray to play the victim of this mindf*&k propaganda. Perhaps with grace our privilege will flower in awakening and somehow at the 11th hour we'll pull our head out of our nether regions to live the prayer for the planet outlined by my friends following poem.
Born out of a universal love, a time will come when the future is
bright
When relaxing is a virtue, health is a prevalent given, and people will
laugh for a living
The Spirit will be honored above all else and your neighbors will be
your friends
Holding someone will be joyful and pain will cease to exist
This is my prayer for our world
Be hopeful young children, we who love you are here; and people still
care
All is not lost in this world as a tree is being planted every day, and
for each tree a gardner is born
These gardens will flower into a oneness of earth and time, yet space
will be no more
All that is wanted for will be had and peace will abound
This is my prayer for our world
Love,
Lisa S.
Labels:
humor
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