Wednesday, July 27, 2005

in case you missed it!

That's right, what he said. Who said? Sweet Jesus! Their ain't gonna be no messiah. We don't need saving. The horrible suffering unleased on that day, makes my mind implode!! The crucifixion of Jesus caused more suffering that just about anything. Of course the dirty little monkeys probably would have fought anyway. And so what. The sad shame is that organized religion was a way for the smarter monkeys to control the wild neandertal traits of the dumber monkeys. And you know what, thank god, some of those dumb wild motherf&%*ers are controlled through guilt. Otherwise the human race wouldn't have made it this far. In the mean time many a sorry sack o shit could rise to the top under the nose of the king and swing the poor bastards into war or just giving the fat of the land in service to their future salvation through the only other power channel besides royal birth. Holy crack'a'toli!! The works that I do shall ye do also; and greater works than these shall ye do. invoke ye there fore the christ principle. now. Now is the time in history of which Christ spoke. We are to realize our divinity of the cosmic fire at the center of each of our very cells. Read the Tao of Physics to learn how scientists are becoming mystics because the ultimate nature of reality is just simply unexplainable by any terms. To the physicists, reality is an illusion. To enlightened sages of wiser yugas reality is maya. All great mystics can not relay to us the pure potential of the creative power of unmanifest potential. If we knew how that potential became manifest we'd be Gods ourselves. Ascended masters perhaps know this. Perhaps as a soul group, we will learn this and temporaraly manifest a heaven on earth just for the lesson but not as anything permanent as nothing on this level of exsistience is meant to last.

Monday, July 25, 2005

God's orgasmatron or no reason to panic

That's right, the sperm must be shot before the baby is born. Hey baby, looking for a little space sugar? Explosions, male outward energy, thats what this universe is built on in conjuction with the female, receptive space, as a container for the explosions. So nothing, I mean nothing in this universe is meant to last. Its an ongoing, ever changing spiraling in and spiraling out, expansions and contractions. So the big bang was simply the ultimate switch point from the ultimate contraction back torwards the expansion. Which brings me to the currant Human situation on this planet. A lot of people are worried about the future of the planet and especially the human race. Well, what a waste of time. We're not meant to last anymore than the dinosaurs or any other life forms (study the geologic history of this planet and the mass extinctions). Think of flowers. Extrodinarily beautiful and singularly fleeting. The human race has yet to flower. We're spiraling in, contracting, speeding up, 6 billion people, made possible by cheating (or so it seems) natural laws (advent of agriculture) in a fantasmagorical, industrial light and magic life force masturbation towards an ejaculation to seed the birth of a new human. The womb receving the phallus is the inborn potential of the precious human birth as a gift from the God source. We're not in control and we're living the culmination of the orginal programing. And the programing for this level of exsistince is orgasmic, explosive and dramatic. It's not important that we save the planet or the human race. The important thing for our own souls is the choices we make to Not kill one another, Not exploit other creatures, Not to embrace destruction and move onward and upward into more harmony and light. The orgasm is going to happen. It may not be pretty (tsunamis, disease, war, famine) but thats what we signed up for. We're baby creator beings whose best side comes out when we have a problem to solve. We've created quite a problem for ourselves to test our creative problem solving capacity. There are no more new frontiers to conquer. No more wide open spaces to pioneer and colonize. We're all in this together now. We always were but now with a shrinking planet and resources its more clearly evident.

rock hard

That's right, those ice age peeps were getting down and messin' 'round. 28,000 year old phallus was found in Germany, unearthed in a cave of all places, the womb of mother earth. Seems it was also used as a tool to "knap" or split flints. Gives new meaning to the phrase "in like flint" Which seems to be associated with sex at least when ever I've heard it used. Rumor has it that big name porn publisher is paying big name hotel heir to make a safe sex promo ad with the old stone penis.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

hot read!

Ok all you unemployed or otherwise disgruntled "hate to follow the rules" types who still want to be successful without all the brown nosing and other distasteful heart rending concessions. Bitch Slap Your Way To The Top, the new book by Bob Wackett is the first real alternative to the "good old boys club" school of success. Of course just bitch slapping without a proven strategy is also likely to end in failure. Bitch Slap Your Way To The Top emphasizes a coup d'├ętat approach so you gain maximum power from fewer strokes. Includes a section on proper bitch slap technique (commitment and follow through are key) as well as real life success stories from those at the forefront of the Bitch Slap phenomenon. This book is not about violent take overs. There is a chapter on anger management and exercises to clarify your mind so that often just the threat of a bitch slap in the ethers is enough to ensure you get your way. Bitch Slap Your Way To The Top is indispensable reading for anyone on the career up swing.

Friday, July 22, 2005

Personal protection revolution

Ever find yourself wondering how can I own a self protection device without compromising my soft persona? Well wonder no more. Introducing the Bludgeon Bunny. The Bludgeon Bunny is a revolution in personal protection. Soft and furry on the outside but harder than a sex offenders zygomaticofacial foramen on the inside. The Bludgeon Bunny has 5 lbs of cold hard steel cloaked in the most adorable little Oryctolagus cuniculus you've ever seen.. Your attacker won't believe what hit them! The Stungeon Bunny adds 50,000 volts of flesh gelatinising electricity to the mix leaving the would be assailiant a quivering bag of water at the mercy of your chilhood anger (HA!). The delux models eyes light up red upon impact and the Bludgeon Bunny emits a shrieking "DIE MOTHERF*&#ER" to let your aggressor know you're no schlemiel! Check them out at and tell them r a n d o m sent you for a 10% discount.

Happy Bludgeoning!

r a n d o m

Thursday, July 21, 2005

despite the doubt, go gourmet or between the bombs there's ice cream

Boulder Colorado, my new home. Dry, man is it dry. It's so arid sometimes I forget that I'm sucking tailpipes in hell (obscure reference to inner emotional landscape) and all I can think is DRY. Relief comes not so easily as drinking a fresh liter of Trinity water. Maybe some domo arigato water, now we're talking! Anyway, I haven't looked into the official demographics for Boulder but it seems a pretty homogeneous city. Meaning, I don't see any African, Latin or any other ethnic groups represented very much. Maybe I'm clueless and not that it really matters but homogeneity means safety somehow. I think its human nature to choose those like us. We're visual and social creatures and I don't care what you say everyone is wearing a cultural uniform. First of all let me just say that I will be the first to suggest that my views are skewed and I may be living in total delusional state and I've also only been here 10 days. So my point being that Boulder feels like some fairytale dreamland where everyone is happy and they all happily pick up their dog poop. It's a freakin' miracle. And all the dogs are friendly. Unlike those contingents in LA and Hawaii (two places I've lived) with their scary pit bulls, icons of the territorial thug life. People here, are into health, let me tell you! Exercise is the defacto religion and not in the vain hollywood sense. Its just pure clean fun and probably a bit of distraction from the howling abyss of their discontent (just kidding : ) And how does all this relate to homogeneity? Beats me, it just somehow came together in my mind in that way. Anyhoo, this is not a definitive post on the lay of the land in the fair city of Boulder or the cultural influence of homogeneity (sorry for using that word thrice). That will develop over time but right now I'm going to give you a recipe from this eveings dinner.

Fire Roasted Tomato and Salmon Bisque

6oz fresh alaskan salmon
16oz can Muir Glen fire roasted chopped tomatoes
1 medium onion diced
1 lime
fresh cilantro chopped
2/3 cup organic 1/2 & 1/2
3T olive oil

Steam the salmon for about 7 minutes. This makes it easy to remove the skin which can then be fed to the cat. Flake the salmon with a fork, set aside. In a medium sauce pan, saute the diced onion in the oil until translucent. Add the tomatoes, salmon, salt and pepper and simmer for 5 minutes. Let cool for 15 minnutes. Place in a blender or better yet use a hand blender and puree'. If you use a blender cooling is important and make sure you have a good grip on the top because hot liquids want to escape with force from blenders. Now add the 1/2 and 1/2 or cream and stir well. Reheat and simmer for 5 mins. Let cool slightly. Serve in bowls garnished with cilantro a little lime zest and the juice of a lime slice.

I served this bisque with fresh boutique italian bread with roasted garlic drizzled with olive oil and a organic baby greens salad with organic garlic aioli dressing which I bought ready made from Wild Oats. Quick and easy and oh so tasty.

r a n d o m